Labour and Delivery- Does it Hurt?

There is no way around it, yes having a baby hurts! But there are alot of ways to keep yourself comfortable during labour. Here are some tips and tricks to help you through labour and delivery.

1. Learn some breathing exercises, they do actually help. Being relaxed is the most important key to an easy labour

2. Do not invite anyone into your labour room who will aggravate you or frustrate you. Even if this is your mother, she can see the baby afterward, you need to be relaxed. 

3. Bring any paraphernalia that relaxes you with you to the hospital, a picture, ipod, massage tools (even your masseuse if you can convince him to come!!)

4. Having a doula can be very helpful, they are trained in all the areas surrounding labour and delivery and are well versed in what to say and do for women in labour

5. Having a birth plan is good but try to remember that not everything goes according to plan during labour and you may need to make a few adjustments. Be open to go with the flow in case that's necessary. And don't feel discouraged or upset if it doesn't go according to plan. There will be many times during your life as a parent where things will not go according to plan, this is a good time to start learning to accept alternatives.

Its surprising, how powerful our minds are, especially during labour. My second labour and delivery went so much more smoothly because I kept myself relaxed and I knew what to expect. If you can try to relax and tell yourself that there will be discomfort but that you need not be afraid of it because it is what is bringing your closer and closer to having your baby you will find that your labour and delivery will go alot more smoothly.

Common Fears About Delivery

The worst thing for labour is fear. But unfortunately its natural to be a bit afraid. Here is a list of common fears and concerns about labour and delivery.

One common fear that women have about labour is the pain and losing control. Does it hurt, will I lose control? The fact is that labour and delivery can be quite painful and yes you may feel like you are losing control of you emotions. You may scream out or yell at your partner, you may even yell at your nurse or doctor. However, the beauty of it all is that even though the thought of that sounds terrible now, at the time, you wont really care about what anyone else thinks. Its very common for a mother to become quite irrational and irritable during labour, its a tough job! But dont worry to much if you do lose control, the people around you will understand.

Another common fear about labour and delivery is having a bowel movement while pushing. I have had two children myself and although I must say that was definitely a concern before I had my first child, I didn't even give it a thought the second time around. If you do have a bowel movement, first of all, you wont notice it. The baby coming through is a lot bigger than any bowel movement you may have. Secondly, no one else in the room will notice either because your nurses and doctors are experts at quickly swiping anything away into the garbage that will sit right under you. But most importantly, when you are in the process of delivering your baby, this will be the last thing on your mind!

Tearing is a common concern as well. Tearing naturally is thought to be much better than an episiotomy (cutting the dermis below the vagina opening to allow room for baby's head and body). Most doctors will not perform an episiotomy in this day and age and will likely let your body naturally tear where it will. There are ways of preparing your body for delivery so that you do not tear as badly or some may not even tear at all. Most doctors will recomend a perineum massage every day or a few times a day leading up from the weeks to labour. You can do this yourself or have your partner do it for you. With some oil, you want to massage the area between your vagina and your anus. This may help to relax the skin in the area allowing it to stretch further and reduce tearing. Your doctor will stitch up any tearing that does occur and you will likely look and feel very much the same as you did before birth after a month or two.

That brings us to another fear about labour and delivery. Will I be the same 'down there' after I have a baby. Well, yes and no. My husband and many others I have spoke to swear that their wives feel exactly the same as the 'first time'. These men are either really wise or I am really gullible, but I would like to believe that it is true. Basically, the tearing may cause some cosmetic damage and very rarely women may experience some pelvic floor and pelvic muscle damage but I think for the most part, our bodies are great at bouncing back within a few months. And hopefully you have a great doctor like I did who will do a meticulous, fantastic job with your stitches. So for the most part, I wouldn't worry too much about how you will look or feel to your husband after having your baby, from what I have heard, its not much different.

Something that you may want to pay close attention to though is, KEGELS. I always took the kegel excersise thing so lightly. Everyone, including my doctor suggested them, everything I read said that they are very important but I rarely did them. I always felt I had a strong pelvic floor and good pelvic muscles. However, the births of both my children were not too traumatic and my babies came out fairly easily and without issue so there wasn't too much to worry about on that front. I was lucky. I have had countless friends who have had a lot of problems after the fact due to damage to the birth canal (pelvic floor and muscles). If your baby is quite big or if it comes out a strange way (some like to come out with thier arms up etc), or it they need to use forceps etc to get him out, you are at a bigger risk for damage to your pelvic floor. This can cause incontinence and other unpleasantries (peeing when you sneeze etc). If you do your kegels however, there is a much better chance of avoiding such problems or at least bouncing back a lot quicker. Kegels really are important. Do them as much as you can. To do a Kegel is easy, you can do them anywhere. All you have to do is sit, relax and tighten the muscles in your vaginal wall. Hold each on for 5-10 seconds and release. The better you get at it, the longer you can hold them. Do them, you wont regret it!! 

Basically though, having a baby is much like running a marathon, its not something to be taken lightly but it can be done and done well with the proper tools and the right attitude. That said, I have never actually run a marathon so what do I know about that, but I do know that having a baby will be one of the hardest, physically painful, emotionally draining experiences you will probably ever endure BUT when its all over, you are handed the greatest trophy your ever recieve, your baby! Good luck!

Article By: 2005 M.Wright BA Sociology (and Mother of 2)